Skyfall: My Name is Bond, Lame Bond

Posted on Nov 21 2012 - 9:14am by Harrison

As we are told in the closing credits of the new James Bond movie, Skyfall, the franchise is 50 years old and James Bond will be back!  This note should have been in the beginning of the movie so everybody would know the film would suffer from an identity crisis: is it old or new?

There will be spoilers to follow so beware…

M, who has been played for the past few movies by Judi Dench, does not survive the film.  In real life she is slowly going blind, like MacGuyver’s Dana Elcar so, I think, this is why she was written out of the film.

Ms. Moneypenny is introduced at the beginning of the film as a field agent who is a bad shot but her name is never given so we don’t know who she really is until the closing seconds.  And what of Q… famously played for 36 years by one actor before the film went Naked Gun and appointed John Cleese.  Q went away for Daniel Craig’s appearance before returning in Skyfall as… a 32 year old sardonic “whiz kid” who turns out to be not-so-wise.

And then we get a new M at the end played by a fatter and balder Ralph Fiennes who looks older than the 49 years he is.

Why all this changing and jumping around, re-introducing characters or changing them?

Because I’m convinced James Bond doesn’t know who he should be.  Is he Sean Connery’s James Bomd?  Is he Jason Bourne?  Is he an anti-hero?

A very telling decision was to not include any gadgets.  In fact, Q says exploding pens are something they don’t do anymore.

So Bond gets a Walther PPK in 9mm (which means he’s outgunned) and a radio beacon.

And the villain?  A disgruntled, apparently gay, ex-MI6 agent played by Javier Bardem, throwing hissy fits and being dramatic.  With a bad, floppy blonde hairdo.

Hardly a Goldfinger.

The film is also far too long at over 2 hours.

Bond beds a woman or two and he drinks his martini (which is shaken without him instructing the bartender to make it that way) but the lamest part is where Bond takes out the classic Aston Martin DB5 as seen in the classic films (and in Bronson’s last Bond movie).

When I saw that car in the garage I thought to myself… the writer thinks this is a homage but it’s just desperation.

I will likely see the next Bond film but I certainly hope it’s better than this one which, at 50, appears to be having a mid-life crisis.

3 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Jack Camwell November 21, 2012 at 12:27 PM -

    From what I’ve read, Javier Bardem’s character is not gay, just enjoy’s messing with 007.

    That aside, I like the new Bond films, but they leave me yearning for the good old days. My gripe with the new ones is that there is *too much action*. That might sound sacreligious to some, but James Bond was never about non-stop action.

    The Daniel Craig films are good in their own way, but it seems like it’s just one high-octane action scene right after the other. James Bond is supposed to be a mixture of action and espionage.

    But with the increasingly stupid American audience, I suppose it’s no wonder that the Bond films have gone this way.
    Jack Camwell recently posted..For KP: What Makes a Leader

  2. Movie_Guy7897 February 7, 2013 at 10:13 AM -

    Great review. The movie stunk. Solid first hour than it totally collapses. I love how 3 movies into the Craig reboot era, the series is already desperately re-treading the same tired ground as the Brosnan era. Namely, how Bold is an espionage relic and a dinosaur and out of his times etc etc. The producers are washed up and out of ideas. Rebooting the series with “Casino Royale” only wallpapered this fact. The third act of Skyfall, with the silly Scottish groundskeeper and the home invasion scenario plays like a really bad brown bad acid trip. Back to the drawing board…

    • Harrison February 7, 2013 at 10:29 AM -


      I haven’t been a big fan since Dalton.