If Liberals Designed the Video Game Mafia Wars

Mafia Wars for Liberals

Mafia Wars is a very popular online game.  Even I got sucked into it (level 94 and climbing).  I play it on Facebook.  The game is free but if you get impatient with the pace of earning certain credits you can break open the wallet and buy your way forward (Liberals probably don’t like that because it puts the poor at a disadvantage).

The game consists of a few sections.  You can fight people and earn money (sometimes) and experience, you can run a business, you can get an illegal racket going, and you can do “jobs.”  These activities give you points you can use to build up your character or money you can use to buy weapons, cars, businesses, etc.

In one of the sections you can buy a business and use the proceeds to upgrade your factory to nicer goods (which sell at a higher price thus giving you more income).  The game is actually a pretty interesting study in that whole Conservative small business stuff.  I wonder… if Mafia Wars was designed by Liberals for Liberals what would it be like..?

Firstly, there would be no fighting.  It would be wrong to attack someone weaker than you so as to gain money or experience.  That would be banned.  Instead, you would earn “goodwill” for giving your money away to others.

There would be no saving your money and upgrading your businesses because, well, that might result in the production of goods meant only for the rich people.  We can’t have that.  Instead, you would be forced to hire more employees (again for “goodwill” points) who would join the union and you could never fire them.  Once you had more payroll costs than income you could apply your “goodwill” points towards applying for a government bailout.

You would still be allowed to illegally take over businesses and run them, but only those chosen by the president and only if he or she could tell you who would run these businesses.  Again, if payroll exceeded income you could apply for a bailout.  If the bailout failed then you could always choose to be nationalized which would result in your demonetization and exile to a Swiss jail with Roman Polanski as your cellmate.

If you somehow managed to make money you could not really buy anything nice because your money would be worthless.  Walmart would not exist in this game because it is evil delivering low cost items to people.

On second thought, if this game did exist it would be a failure, sort of like Liberal ideology to being with.

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